Jerry Seinfeld Turns 54

Posted on  Posted by Birthday Cate on April 29, 2009 in General

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When comedian Jerry Seinfeld made an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman last year, he made it clear that his tolerance for birthday parties was nonexistent:

“I hate every single one of them,” the 54-year-old comedian said during a recent appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman. “I hate everything about them.” Tops on Jerry’s list of dislikes? Piñatas!”

“It changes the mood. It’s like, today you’re 5…lets get violent on that fake donkey. And you have to encourage the child, so I’m holding little 4-year-old shoulders, saying ‘You wail on this ignorant beast, you hear me? You beat him senseless. And whatever falls out of his ruptured carcass, grab it and eat it right in front of his face.’”

The trauma of birthday parties doesn’t end with piñatas, for Mr. Seinfeld. The father of three went on to rail on the bouncy castles that have become ubiquitous at kids birthday parties:

“They have a slot in the front, you bring your child to the party, you insert your child into the slot, you turn around and they show you what their real personality actually is. By the time they get out, they’re so psychotic you just throw ‘em in the minivan/paddy wagon, strap them into their car seat/straight jacket and drive away.”

Let’s hope that Mr. Seinfeld has slightly more positive feelings about adult birthday celebrations—or at least his own. He turns 54 today.

On second thought, perhaps we should hope he hates his birthday as much as the birthday parties his kids attend. I bet his own birthday party would be great comedy material.


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