Celebrating Memories with Sweet Juniper
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This week Wood from over at Sweet Juniper’s Woodcraft tells a powerful story about the loss of her stepfather Doug and the quilt she is making in his memory. Though Doug lost his battle with leukemia a year and a half ago, Wood and her family continue to celebrate his life.
The American Cancer Society provides Wood with meaningful opportunities to remember and honor Doug, as well as ways to fight back so no one ever has to go through what Doug and his family went through again. Read Wood’s story below, and find out how you can help create a world with less cancer and more birthdays at morebirthdays.com.
The Memories Quilt
Last night I finally walked down into the basement and opened up the giant plastic bag that I’d been avoiding for the last month. The smell of my mom’s house and her laundry detergent floated out of the bag, and I began to pull out tee-shirts, pausing to look at each one. There was the one from their trip to the Milwaukee art museum, the one from the 1999 Ann Arbor art fair, and the one from the coffee shop in San Francisco that was just down the block from the apartment Jim and I shared.
When I came to the shirt that someone had meticulously cut open along one side and sewn in velcro closures so that he could fit it over his swollen arm — the one with all the IVs — that was when I started to cry. And once I started, I couldn’t stop. Further into the bag was a University of Michigan Law School shirt that Doug was so proud to wear so that he could beam whenever someone noticed and gave him the opportunity to say that his daughter was a student there. Below that was a Detroit Tigers shirt he bought when the Tigers made the World Series in 2006, a few weeks after we moved to Detroit, and a few short months before he was diagnosed with leukemia. We walked around Comerica Park with him and my mom during one of those games, so happy to all finally be living in the same state. He carried Juniper on his shoulders as he made small talk with homeless guys about Kenny Rogers’ pitching. The Tigers won that game.
My stepfather lost his battle with leukemia a year and a half ago, but my mother continues to fight the grief that sometimes threatens to swallow her up. And while I miss Doug, dealing with my own grief is easy compared to the heartache I feel when wondering how to comfort my mom. I’m her daughter – she is the one who is supposed to make me feel better, and she is the one who fixes my problems. Hearing her sad makes me feel helpless, and no matter how many times I call her each week, or how many weekends I bring her grandchildren to her house, nothing compares to the loss she feels when she goes to bed each night without her husband.
So I will do what I can — I will sew something. I’ve started piecing together a quilt from Doug’s old tee-shirts for my mom. Making Juniper’s quilt from her baby clothes gave me the idea, but I wasn’t sure that it would work until I finally opened up the bag of old shirts, and was instantly reminded of each and every trip my mom and Doug had taken together. When I was younger, I might have scoffed at the way he and my mom always purchased a shirt from every Irish pub and museum they visited on vacation, but now that I have these physical reminders of the memories they made in my hands, I am so grateful for these souvenirs.
Like Jim’s post, this post is sponsored by the American Cancer Society. I feel indebted to that organization because their work is not just about fighting cancer — they also provide my mom and me with opportunities to remember and honor Doug together. My mom participated ACS’s Relay for Life recently, and I joined her for a few hours. I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I pulled up to the local high school track at 10:00 p.m. The Relay for Life is a 24 hour fundraising event similar to a walk-a-thon or a dance-a-thon, but it manages to combine the thrill and euphoria that comes from doing something all night with touching ways to remember people that lost their lives to cancer. At the one I attended, there were giant bouncy castles and tons of kids running around, screaming their heads off at nearly midnight, obviously having a great time. There were musical performances, and there was a special time when all the survivors did a lap together, and seeing them all fill the track was breathtaking. But my favorite part was the paper bag votives that lined the entire 400 meter track, each one decorated in honor of someone who had battled cancer. The track was completely lined with these candles on both sides. My mom decorated several for Doug, and she squeezed my hand as we neared the corner of the track where she’d placed them. She even made one dedicated to Doug from Gram, the grandson he didn’t get a chance to meet. Next time we do the Relay for Life – next year – I’m bringing the kids. I know they will love it.
Happy birthday, Shaq!
This weekend, my 12-year old daughter and her friends are hosting a surprise birthday sleepover for one of their friends whose mother lost her very short battle with lung cancer this past July. Each year, her Mom would have a huge sleepover birthday party for her which all the girls looked forward to. This will be the first birthday she will have without her Mom and it will probably be difficult for her and her Dad and brothers.
