Posted by Birthday Cate on September 30, 2009 in 
In a continuing effort to create a world with less cancer and more birthdays, the American Cancer Society Blogger Advisory Council — a group of prominent bloggers dedicated to harnessing the power of women in the blogosphere to fight cancer — conceived the Bloggers for More Birthdays blog chain. The blog chain will be an ongoing conversation in the social media space to generate awareness and inspire action around cancer issues. We’re kicking it off today with a simple “Dedicate and Celebrate” theme — we’re dedicating our blog posts to someone we love who’s been affected by cancer. It’s a simple way to celebrate those you love.
We’d love for you to add your voice too — just write a post, grab the special “Bloggers for More Birthdays” badge, and know that whatever you write, you’re raising awareness and inspiring others to create a world with more birthdays and less cancer with the American Cancer Society (and gaining visibility for your blog too!). There’s nothing more inspiring and healing than sharing our stories. Don’t forget to come back to our special blog chain page to share what you’ve written.
To kick off this special effort, blogger Julie Pippert, a member of the Blogger Council, creator of the blog Julie Pippert: Using My Words and contributor to Momocrats and Motherhood.com has written this beautiful dedication post. We are grateful for her support and the support of the entire council. I can’t wait to see where this conversation goes.
Celebrating More Birthdays
It was days, really, between learning my friend was being sent home, cancer treatment suspended, and learning she had passed away. Sadly, the first symptom came well after the cancer had already metastasized and spread. They began intensive treatment, aggressive. It was hard on her, but she had a lot to live for: loving family, loving friends, and two beautiful children, as well as all of her work, including a book she authored for children about children on the autism spectrum. That was her: a do-er.
She was the sort of person you could picture growing older, still doing. I could even picture her forty years from now blowing out a cake full of candles. In my imagination, over her cake, her hair was still bright, as it was before she got sick. She’d do that, I knew, keep herself looking nice. She’d have a big smile, and she’d tell everyone they shouldn’t have made such a fuss, but everyone would ignore her because they knew she was deeply touched — family and family times were everything. I wished that for her with all my heart.
When I got the message she was gone, I denied it. I didn’t believe it until I read her obituary in the paper. I left a comment on the online memorial. I spoke about what a fantastic person she was. I spoke about how heartbreaking a loss it was. I mentioned nothing of my anger.
The next day, I went for a run. My feet pounded the track in fury. The hot Texas summer sun pounded me back, just as brutal as my anger. I hate this, I thought, I hate this day. My children had been surly, uncooperative, and cranky. The day was intolerably hot and humid. The sun was relentless. I pulled myself along the straight stretch before a curve that took me along the water.
My iPod stumbled out of my pacing songs and Falling Slowly came on. I nearly clicked to the next song, but the lyrics caught and tugged at my grief. We’ve still got time…the song trilled. But my friend doesn’t, I thought, my friend hasn’t got more time. Why not? I knew how she’d feel about that, and that she’d be of two minds, and unapologetic. That’s how she was. She called it like it was. But she also called blessings for what they were too. I felt ashamed of my ingratitude: for having known her, for all the gifts I received from her, for the beautiful children she brought into the world and would not get to see grow up, for the fact that I had today, another day with my children even if they were cranky and I was grief-stricken and miserably hot.
I took the curve in the track a little slowly and I thought hard about her. She’d have loved this hot day. She’d have loved to be healthy and bickering with her children about getting ready for day camp. She would have loved having this day, I knew. And I wanted to give her to, a late or early birthday gift, depending upon how you looked at it.
Here it is, I thought with my mind and heart, here is this day, another day, one you would have liked, one that was hot, one that was about being a mom, one that was about making a healthy choice. I sent the experience of the day up and out, and away to her. And a little bit of grief fell away from my heart.
She may not have another birthday, but I do. She may not get to celebrate another birthday with her kids, but I can. And I can send the appreciation and joy from that to her.
My friend, and all the other friends, mothers, sisters, daughters, brothers, fathers, husbands, wives – all the other people who have gone, or are still here fighting, or stand beside someone fighting cancer – are why I joined the American Cancer Society’s More Birthdays effort. I can take a page from my friend’s book and be a do-er. I can celebrate and recognize that every birthday is a blessing.
Join the American Cancer Society in the effort to celebrate More Birthdays. All you need to do is dedicate a blog post to someone you love who has been affected by cancer and celebrate their lives. You can check out other posts on the American Cancer Society’s Birthday Blog for inspiration, but know that whatever you write, you’re raising awareness and inspiring others to join ACS in the fight against cancer. It would also help if you could host the badge on your blog (or Facebook page, or MySpace Page) to encourage others to join.
Happy Birthday.
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Here’s to many more birthdays, Simon.
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